lalalalala i want to rant
im so apathetic.. i wish i had a drive in me.. a will to strive for excellence.. im putting God’s gifts to waste…
I’m not going to let my jealousy bring me to the ground again. I still care about you and you still mean the world to me. If that feeling isn’t mutual then so be it. You live out your life and I’ll live out mine. Maybe we weren’t meant to be friends like we said we were. I never said this to you but I worry so much about you. Reading everything you wrote killed me, but I tried not to let it show. It may be a one sided relationship but I want the best for you and I’ll continue to treat you the way I’ve been treating you. You deserve the best from this world and if you’re happy, I’ll be happy as well. If this means we stop talking then so be it, as long as you’re happy. I gotta learn to live on my own as well. I’ve depended on you for far too long. Continue your fire and keep striving for more of Him. Continue to have faith and like I said I’ll always be praying for you. I truly from the bottom of my heart adore you and all that you are, well as far as all you chose to show me. Hope you live a great life, because obviously you’ll be hearing from me a lot less. This isn’t going to turn out like last year again. There’s no bitterness in my heart, only compassion. I love you and hope the best for you!